COMMUNITY CARE
Paying Attention
Help volunteers pay attention to children. This may sound basic but it is good to remind others that they cannot walk away without telling anyone and making sure it is alright, and that children can not walk away out the door on their own. Also while we may be excited to see each other, now is not the time to catch up with your (adult) friends and socialize. We can remind each other to center our conversations back to include, or at least check in on, children. Another thing that can happen is that there can be a traffic jam of folks who have walked through the door to register, and then stand around talking afterwards. Help them to move aside to continue their conversation so the doorway is open and welcoming for new members. Childcare space can, at times, be empty; and then suddenly fill up. People come and go. We need to be mindful and help each other pay attention with gentle reminders to keep the space open, ready, and centered on its goals.
There are many ways to pay attention to children. One way is to pay attention to where everyone is, and the overall climate of the room, this is the job especially of the Shift Bottom-liner, to keep their eye on the over all climate and not just where the action is, to notice who is on the edges and if there are any problems, making sure that no children go off on their own. However all volunteers and participants can help with this when it feels appropriate/needed.
Another way is to pay attention to who is not being included. For example when small children speak up and are not listened to, help amplify their voices as well as to take them seriously.
We can all pay attention to each other and consult with each other when we are not sure what to do.
Care for Yourself and Each Other
Do you need a drink? A snack? To rest or sit a moment. To be listened to. To hold a baby and ground yourself.
Offer support to others as well. When your comrade tells you that they get overwhelmed and need to leave in 5 hours, remind them of what they said and that it’s a good time to leave.
Also, maybe make sure before the childcare is open that everyone's needs are taken care of. Like if a volunteer arrives & says that they didn't have time to eat, prioritize having them get food into them before childcare opens & kids arrive.
Clean Up
Don’t forget to clean and tidy up periodically.
Holding Space: We hold babies, We hold Space!
If we let adults (not associated with the children’s programming) come in and do other activities, even when the room is temporally empty, they tend to take over and not make space for the children, even when the children come. It is a very unwelcoming climate for a caretaker and child to first experience as beginning impressions. Feel empowered to tell those looking for free space to prepare for their workshop, etc. that this is not the space for that. Many adults tend to not want to give you space, and then try to take it away when you get it.
Non-judgmental Support
Kidz City has agreed upon providing non-judgmental support and that if there comes a time we have an issue with this, we will discuss it as a group. We are not trying to replace being the parent of the children that we are watching and so we do not have to assume these responsibilities. We realize there are many different ways to do things as many different pressures upon parents and children. We think the best way we can support their options is to respect parents and children knowing best for their own lives and to support their options. We do not have to agree with others and we can share the values we believe in by creating living examples of and options to show our values.
Guidance
Distraction is your friend. If you don’t want a little kid to do something, offer a different option.
Direct and divert attention. For example: "I don't know if jumping on the balcony is such a great idea. Can you show me how high you can jump here on the grass?"
Depending on the age and situation you can offer a short explanation as well as alternative choices. You can also ask others—including children— what they think they should do instead and work on it as a group, trying to come to an agreement.
However, it is also important to address some subjects directly, offering guidance and structure to actively resist oppression. We need to address racism, sexism, homophobia, zenophobia, and more in all phases of our organizing and to talk about these issues with all ages. These subjects should not be shied away from. For instance once 2 children were noticed to be uncomfortable with their friend’s insistence on playing “Cowboys and Indians.” Those who did not know what to do talked to others and a father volunteer felt equipped to take the little boy aside and explained to him the issue and suggested playing a game of “Adventurers” instead.
By supporting each other, we can create a different environment where oppression is actively resisted and it is also OK to express yourself (like with gender identity, for example) creatively or go against different norms in society. “This is the way we do it in Kidz City”, I sometimes explain, “I am sharing food because we believe in sharing.” Seeing what everyone is bringing to the table, working it out together. We tend towards positive problem solving. We can be firm with boundaries when needed but in general we are not disciplinarians. We are basically concerned with no one getting hurt and working together to support everyone’s rights. If we have an issue we are not sure of or cannot solve together we contact the parent and ask them what we should do.
We do really believe in creative problem solving and once set up a problem solving station where everyone could write a problem and then ways that it could be solved. One other person saw this as a creative way to have a time-out, but we do not believe in this; we sincerely did want this to be a problem solving station. Equally once we tried to have a tree to draw with values on it. Then someone else said, "then you can have the children sign a contract they will abide by these rules," but we would not do that, nor “enforce” the rules but use them as guiding principles that we could continually work on and build together. This is not to say that an authoritarian element will not enter Kidz City, as this is the norm in the society we live in. Many of those who work with children do so in authoritarian structures (like schools and camps which are over crowded, over worked, and have different goals than we do). Many adults, including parents, and children themselves, often take care of, nurture, protect, as well as sometimes bully and control younger children. We do not oppose different ways to interact but try to support each other, question, and bring up alternatives to authoritarianism.
With children it can be fairly easy to learn how to read behavior in some cases. Instead of telling them not to do what they are doing, learn to read them. Rubbing eyes? Means a baby is sleepy. Sometimes destruction means a child is bored, needs a change in environment – to be physical – or needs a hug or is hungry! It’s not bad to try out a few of these things. Children need rest, food, quiet time, rowdy and physical time, time together and time to themselves. Also give room for there to be an exception. Sometimes making the exception can also be a great thing. Not all children and situations are the same and sometimes someone needs to be treated special or a rule needs to be overturned – letting one person do something special. For example once I let an older boy climb on some outdoor sculptures I had told all the smaller children not to climb on. I told the group “before we go – just so and so gets to climb on the sculpture because he has been unhappy for a long time now and has not had fun doing any of these things that we have had fun doing and he needs something special.” His whole face shined with glee! These are things that are hard to explain. Experiencing it together is invaluable. This is how we learn.
Help volunteers pay attention to children. This may sound basic but it is good to remind others that they cannot walk away without telling anyone and making sure it is alright, and that children can not walk away out the door on their own. Also while we may be excited to see each other, now is not the time to catch up with your (adult) friends and socialize. We can remind each other to center our conversations back to include, or at least check in on, children. Another thing that can happen is that there can be a traffic jam of folks who have walked through the door to register, and then stand around talking afterwards. Help them to move aside to continue their conversation so the doorway is open and welcoming for new members. Childcare space can, at times, be empty; and then suddenly fill up. People come and go. We need to be mindful and help each other pay attention with gentle reminders to keep the space open, ready, and centered on its goals.
There are many ways to pay attention to children. One way is to pay attention to where everyone is, and the overall climate of the room, this is the job especially of the Shift Bottom-liner, to keep their eye on the over all climate and not just where the action is, to notice who is on the edges and if there are any problems, making sure that no children go off on their own. However all volunteers and participants can help with this when it feels appropriate/needed.
Another way is to pay attention to who is not being included. For example when small children speak up and are not listened to, help amplify their voices as well as to take them seriously.
We can all pay attention to each other and consult with each other when we are not sure what to do.
Care for Yourself and Each Other
Do you need a drink? A snack? To rest or sit a moment. To be listened to. To hold a baby and ground yourself.
Offer support to others as well. When your comrade tells you that they get overwhelmed and need to leave in 5 hours, remind them of what they said and that it’s a good time to leave.
Also, maybe make sure before the childcare is open that everyone's needs are taken care of. Like if a volunteer arrives & says that they didn't have time to eat, prioritize having them get food into them before childcare opens & kids arrive.
Clean Up
Don’t forget to clean and tidy up periodically.
Holding Space: We hold babies, We hold Space!
If we let adults (not associated with the children’s programming) come in and do other activities, even when the room is temporally empty, they tend to take over and not make space for the children, even when the children come. It is a very unwelcoming climate for a caretaker and child to first experience as beginning impressions. Feel empowered to tell those looking for free space to prepare for their workshop, etc. that this is not the space for that. Many adults tend to not want to give you space, and then try to take it away when you get it.
Non-judgmental Support
Kidz City has agreed upon providing non-judgmental support and that if there comes a time we have an issue with this, we will discuss it as a group. We are not trying to replace being the parent of the children that we are watching and so we do not have to assume these responsibilities. We realize there are many different ways to do things as many different pressures upon parents and children. We think the best way we can support their options is to respect parents and children knowing best for their own lives and to support their options. We do not have to agree with others and we can share the values we believe in by creating living examples of and options to show our values.
Guidance
Distraction is your friend. If you don’t want a little kid to do something, offer a different option.
Direct and divert attention. For example: "I don't know if jumping on the balcony is such a great idea. Can you show me how high you can jump here on the grass?"
Depending on the age and situation you can offer a short explanation as well as alternative choices. You can also ask others—including children— what they think they should do instead and work on it as a group, trying to come to an agreement.
However, it is also important to address some subjects directly, offering guidance and structure to actively resist oppression. We need to address racism, sexism, homophobia, zenophobia, and more in all phases of our organizing and to talk about these issues with all ages. These subjects should not be shied away from. For instance once 2 children were noticed to be uncomfortable with their friend’s insistence on playing “Cowboys and Indians.” Those who did not know what to do talked to others and a father volunteer felt equipped to take the little boy aside and explained to him the issue and suggested playing a game of “Adventurers” instead.
By supporting each other, we can create a different environment where oppression is actively resisted and it is also OK to express yourself (like with gender identity, for example) creatively or go against different norms in society. “This is the way we do it in Kidz City”, I sometimes explain, “I am sharing food because we believe in sharing.” Seeing what everyone is bringing to the table, working it out together. We tend towards positive problem solving. We can be firm with boundaries when needed but in general we are not disciplinarians. We are basically concerned with no one getting hurt and working together to support everyone’s rights. If we have an issue we are not sure of or cannot solve together we contact the parent and ask them what we should do.
We do really believe in creative problem solving and once set up a problem solving station where everyone could write a problem and then ways that it could be solved. One other person saw this as a creative way to have a time-out, but we do not believe in this; we sincerely did want this to be a problem solving station. Equally once we tried to have a tree to draw with values on it. Then someone else said, "then you can have the children sign a contract they will abide by these rules," but we would not do that, nor “enforce” the rules but use them as guiding principles that we could continually work on and build together. This is not to say that an authoritarian element will not enter Kidz City, as this is the norm in the society we live in. Many of those who work with children do so in authoritarian structures (like schools and camps which are over crowded, over worked, and have different goals than we do). Many adults, including parents, and children themselves, often take care of, nurture, protect, as well as sometimes bully and control younger children. We do not oppose different ways to interact but try to support each other, question, and bring up alternatives to authoritarianism.
With children it can be fairly easy to learn how to read behavior in some cases. Instead of telling them not to do what they are doing, learn to read them. Rubbing eyes? Means a baby is sleepy. Sometimes destruction means a child is bored, needs a change in environment – to be physical – or needs a hug or is hungry! It’s not bad to try out a few of these things. Children need rest, food, quiet time, rowdy and physical time, time together and time to themselves. Also give room for there to be an exception. Sometimes making the exception can also be a great thing. Not all children and situations are the same and sometimes someone needs to be treated special or a rule needs to be overturned – letting one person do something special. For example once I let an older boy climb on some outdoor sculptures I had told all the smaller children not to climb on. I told the group “before we go – just so and so gets to climb on the sculpture because he has been unhappy for a long time now and has not had fun doing any of these things that we have had fun doing and he needs something special.” His whole face shined with glee! These are things that are hard to explain. Experiencing it together is invaluable. This is how we learn.
on to --> PEOPLE POWER